


i'm watching you love me (i'm watching you leaving me now)

by prkchnyl (ryeouknim)



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 14:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryeouknim/pseuds/prkchnyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in the end you always think about the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm watching you love me (i'm watching you leaving me now)

_Yah.._ The soft voice reverberates in Hongbin's mind as the wind chimes by the front door of the studio signals the presence of a customer and he looks up.

 

Taekwoon was the one who hung it up there afterall. More than 2 years in the past when they have just started dating.

 

A couple or more of the newly wed, Hongbin notes, march up to him with bright smiles painted on their faces muttering polite greetings. Hongbin reaches down to grab a huge package from under the counter before opening it to show them what's inside. A couple of CD's, photo albums, framed photos, everything. Captured right from the moment the bride wakes up to get ready, until the moment where everyone sees them off on a white rented expensive vehicle, leaving them alone for their honeymoon.

 

That was all last month. The wedding Hongbin and the few of his staff successfully covered.

 

"Thank you so much for your service, Mr. Lee." The bride says with a smile, leaning slightly towards her husband.

 

Hongbin gives them both a warm smile, dimples and everything. "It was nice working with you. I wish you happiness for your married life." And as he bows, he accidentally elbows the pile of picture frames placed on the side of the counter. The bride gives the photo a curious look, it was the one she complimented before; A picture of Taekwoon he took when they went to Baltimore for a vacation. "I think it's high time I change these for a more recent ones." Hongbin explains awkwardly, but the lady nods before finally walking away with a short thanks.

 

Without the picture frames scattered around the walls, his studio looks brighter, the creams and whites of the walls illuminating the almost empty space. Hongbin drops the smile he's mustered for his customers. No one's left here to please but himself of course. Hongbin walks to the door and contemplates whether to put down the wind chimes or not. In the end he decides to just leave it be and flips the signboard on the door, from 'Come in, we're OPEN.' To 'sorry we're CLOSED'.

 

Hongbin's not really in the mood to face customers today, and he actually needs to redesign his studio. Walking back to the storage room, Hongbin started pulling out various photo albums and file cases. He needs to replace the photos he took down. It's going to be weird for a Photo Studio to lack frames and pictures on display. He might lose his customers that way.

 

Flopping on the dusty floor with an exaggerated sigh, Hongbin starts to scan the photo albums.

 

And Taekwoon's smiling face is the first thing he sees. It was taken a little less than two years ago, in one of their dates. It was just in the park outside Hongbin's old apartment, there were a lot of cats and Taekwoon looked so happy. Taekwoon was talking to a black and white furred cat, treating it as one would treat a baby. But in the picture, the cat was barely seen,Hongbin too focused on Taekwoon's smile. Back then, Taekwoon's smile was a rarity even when they started dating.

 

Hongbin wonders, as he puts the photo aside, when those smile started to appear less frequently around him.

 

As he turns to the next page, and to the next, and the one after that, he realizes that the album is his compilation of Taekwoon's smiles. And the photos only fill halfway. He closes the album more forcefully than he intended to and dust scattered all around, rising enough to make him cough and Hongbin thinks a few got into his eyes. They're suddenly too wet, his vision blurry.

 

In his haste to put the photo album aside, Hongbin didn't notice a photo slipping from the back of the previous album, landing on his lap backside up.

 

And it was just what he needs. Taekwoon's neat handwriting that says _"You know I love you, right?"_ Hongbin knows this photo like the back of his hand. It was one of those moments Taekwoon dedicatedly tried to embarrass him. A photo of Hongbin asleep and drooling on Taekwoon's bare chest. One night way back then when Taekwoon found one of Hongbin's digital cameras in his coat's pocket, right after they dirtied the sheets. Taekwoon used to call it _Post-coital Photography_. Just the thought of it makes his cheeks blush. The ever embarrassing Jung Taekwoon.

 

This time Hongbin doesn't blame the dust getting into his eyes because he bites his knuckles as he openly sobs on the storage room's dirty floor. Memories and memories come flooding his mind and Hongbin feels like he's drowning, breath coming short and ragged.

 

Hongbin thinks he might be going crazy. A memory of a crying Taekwoon makes him laugh, a memory of a smiling Taekwoon makes him cry.

 

In this state, Hongbin doesn't think he'd be able to hold a camera in the near future, with Taekwoon's voice whispering in his ear. _Don't you feel lonely, living in captured moments you can never go back to?_

 

His answer back then was so sure, so proud. _These moments happen only once. No matter how you re-do it, it will never be the same. That's why I take photographs, not of people, or sceneries, but I capture memories._

 

Memories, those words backfiring at him. Because now, the Taekwoon he has only belongs in his memories, in these captured moments he can never go back to.

 

Taekwoon is never a person with many words, but his silence, his smiles, the way he crosses his arms, speak volumes to Hongbin. These, Hongbin easily understands. But when Taekwoon broke the uncomfortable silence as they sat in their apartment more than a week ago, it was like Taekwoon speaks a language Hongbin doesn't understand.

 

"I... Think we should spend some time apart." Was what Taekwoon said but Hongbin couldn't hear it from the erratic beating of his heart. For the first time, it's Hongbin who can't find words to say.

 

The first few days, Hongbin didn't leave the house, hoping, waiting for Taekwoon to return. He'd check Taekwoon's closet and time and time again, would find the majority of the other's clothes still there. When Taekwoon said they needed time apart, he packed just a bit of his clothes, placed a soft kiss on Hongbin's forehead and left without a single word. The memory of Taekwoon's back as he left, is what haunts Hongbin at night when his body decides he's finally too tired to stay up, and in the middle of the night he wakes up, drenched in sweat and tears and a memory.

 

Taekwoon used to say that Hongbin won't be able to live his life to the fullest if he's trapped in his memories, trapped in the past. But since Taekwoon, Hongbin's memories have always been happy, fun to go back to. Not until the previous week.

 

And Hongbin realizes just now, that he doesn't want Taekwoon to belong in just his memories. He wants Taekwoon in the present too. Right now, posing in front of the camera for the pictures he'd put up on the walls of his studio instead of searching for old pictures of nameless models from before he met Taekwoon.

 

And he wants Taekwoon in the future too, with him, the both of them stupidly in love with each other.

 

Hongbin picks himself up, trying to dust himself where his black pants touched the ground, the fabric turning grey.

 

As Hongbin hangs the numerous frames of Taekwoon's face back up the walls of his studio, his heart starts to seemingly calm down. Hongbin bites back a grin as he imagines five years from now and they might have to move to a bigger place because every year, Taekwoon claims that a stray cat manages to find him and Hongbin's too weak to deny him just that.

 

With just a phone and wallet in his pockets, Hongbin hastily closes the shop, regretfully turning down a customer who wanted to schedule a pictorial and giving him a calling card instead, muttering an excuse about an important appointment.

 

When Hongbin reaches their apartment, he was in such a hurry to notice another pair of shoes in the doorway and runs straight to their bedroom to change his dirty clothes. The presence of Taekwoon's clothes in the closet makes his heartbeat settle and he doesn't notice the previously empty hamper, now full of unwashed clothes that aren't his until he trips on a now empty luggage conveniently placed in the middle of the room.

 

Then it hits him, a smell of something cooking and the sound of someone humming almost makes Hongbin lose his balance, running on full speed towards the kitchen.

 

Taekwoon stands there, back facing Hongbin while he stirs something in the pot.

 

"You're back early?" Taekwoon says without even looking at him, and it was so casual, so natural, as if the past week never happened and Hongbin almost bursts out in tears.

 

"I... Thought you left... I.." Coherent words avoid Hongbin just when he needs them the most, but Taekwoon doesn't seem to mind.

 

"Are you hungry?" Taekwoon asks, finally turning the stove off and looks at Hongbin with those clear, beady eyes. And Hongbin crosses the kitchen with three long strides to wrap trembling arms around Taekwoon.

 

"I missed you. So much... You.. You left, and i thought you're never coming back. I..." Hongbin's voice is just as trembling as his arms, but Taekwoon wraps his own steady ones around him, and it feels more like he's coming undone.

 

"Shh... I'm sorry." Taekwoon's voice is barely above a whisper but Hongbin hears it loud and clear. "It was in the past. I'm here now, right?"

 

"Yes, yes. I don't care if you end up bringing home fifty cats in the future, just don't le-leave me again, I..." Hongbin can't find it in himself to finish his sentence but he found the need not to because Taekwoon's laughing in his ears.

 

And Taekwoon's laughter reminds him of the wind chimes in his studio.

 

There was an instance when Hongbin was pouting cutely as Taekwoon confiscated his digital camera in one of their dates, and Taekwoon said _You don't have to capture every moment in a photograph you know. You might end up getting tired of my face._

 

And Hongbin, with an upset face shouted "Never!"

 

Right now though, Hongbin thinks he doesn't need to capture every moment in photographs, because when he opens his eyes, he finds Taekwoon right there, beside him, and it's something not even a world renowned photograph can compare.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n:  
> -My first fic in more than a year and it's taekbin /sigh  
> -Anyway... I'm just practicing, trying to sharpen my now rusty writing skills (not that i have any to begin with LMAO)  
> -i just needed to get this off my chest. TaekBin is totes adorbs you guys ;A;


End file.
